Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
