I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
