Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
