from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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