11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I am available for nakedness
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Text me some of your sweat
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize