Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
