The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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