What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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