I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
