Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
BRING THE BAGELS
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
