the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize