Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
