I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
