she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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