He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize