When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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