I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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