ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
