: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
