Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
well I can't set my house on fire every night
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
