so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
