I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
