just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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