Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
