Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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