This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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