shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
