Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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