somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
