Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize