i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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