I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize