That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
