Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
