No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wish my penis had a tongue
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
