he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
