some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
try to milk me bitch
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
