If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
