Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize