Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
