Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
