told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
