Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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