so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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