Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This girl is more easily done than said...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
