i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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