lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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