so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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