All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
