can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize