he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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