Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
