we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize