OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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