it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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