Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
