Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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