Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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