I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
